Come On Baby, Light My Fire

Alright now, it’s not very often that a dame hits on me in a pub and today happened to be one of those rare days. I was standing at the bar and this chick was totally checking me out (she was, seriously). And she was the kinds that I really dig, short hair, nerd glasses (I really really have thing for women with nerd glasses). So anyway, she hit the dance floor with a friend and boy I had steam coming out of my ears. All the while that she was dancing she was giving me "The Looks". She was so damn hot that she could make a devil sweat! Then she put cig in her mouth and started walking towards me.
She-“Could you light it for me please”
Me-‘Sure thing’
Okay J boy, this is going to be easy. This is your day. Now I really take pride in my collection of Zippos and the one I was carrying today was JD (Jack Daniel) collector’s edition. I whipped out the Zippo out of the pocket like the cowboy whips out his gun.I Opened the cover with my thumb, bought the Zippo to her cig and rolled my fingers over and------- nothing, no flame. Its okay things happen- stay cool. I did it again and----- bzzzzzz and whosshhh. It flickered and went off. I couldn’t figure out if her bloody Mary was more red or my face. What the fuck!. I did it again and again------ no luck.

“Forget it sweetheart, you can’t light my fire!”

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!! JD, JD- Et tu, JD?.

Its okay JD boy, I still love you and here is my ode to JD from ‘Scent of a woman’-

Lt. Col. Frank Slade:I want it wall to wall John Daniels.
Charlie Simms: Don't you mean Jack, sir?
Lt. Col. Frank Slade: He may be Jack to you but when you've known him as long as I have...

Now what I am trying to figure out is which is more embarrassing incident- This one or the one I had when I was 10 – 12 years old. I had this huge crush on my teacher (incidentally she also had short hair and glasses). She was teaching something I was staring at her like a lost puppy. Now as it is I have dopey eyes and I look lost even when I am not, so you can imagine how it is like when I am really lost. Everything else was oblivious to me , the blackboard, the kids around, what she was saying, everything. She was teaching history but she might have be teaching maths and would not have noticed. Anyways, she moved toward me and extended her hand and I just held her hand and she goes…”Er, J, I was asking for the book”.
*Huge uproar* and I wake up -“Sorry ma’am”- *still holding her hand*.
She-“My hand, and please pass the book”
Me- “Oh! Sorry”- *left her hand and passed the book*
She- “Thanks” and smiles.
Awwwwwwwwwwwww ! And I was lost again.

Take 5- Women

Women look great in-1) Ganji and Jeans- Babe you are a rockstar!
2) Short black silk one piece dress- Drooolingggggggggggg!
3) Short Kurta with Patiala Salwar- Something about it!
4) White chiffon churidar- Elegance personified!
5) Spaghetti top with linen pyjama- Don’t give a damn look!

Women smell great in-1) Chanel number 5.
2) Burberry Brit.
3) Davidoff cool waters
4) Armani Code.
5) Bvlgari blv Absolute.

Sheer Torture-1) Brazilian wax.
2) Brazilian wax.
3) Brazilian wax.
4) Brazilian wax.
5) Brazilian wax.

Chick flicks- Picking just 5 is difficult. However, I shall give it my best shot.
1) Autumn in New York.
2) City of Angels.
3) It could happen to you.
4) Four weddings and a funeral.
5) Dirty Dancing.

Chick lits- People I need help here!!!

I will never date-

1) Miss Self pity- The kind who feel there is cosmic conspiracy going on against them.
2) Miss You- were- born- to- pay- for- me- The kind who think men are indebted to finance her life.
3) Miss Feminist- The kind who think ‘They are all after one thing”.
4) Miss Oh- my –god- Snobs. The kind who snigger at the thought of eating at road side or shopping from flea market.
5) Miss Missed call- These ones take the cake.Although they roll up to Miss You- were- born- to- pay- for- me but they really deserve a special mention. The kind who will spend thousands on shopping but will give a missed call when they want to talk to you.

Now this, is my Delhi!

These were taken from my cell phone so are not technically great, but this is Delhi in winters for you! And a month long supply of classic milds for whoever guesses which place this is.

Beauty is only skin deep, Tattoo goes down to your bone

I have always believed that a tattoo should tell a story. If it does not then it’s not a tattoo, it’s just another style statement. Every body has that one story in their life, and what better way to tell that story than a tattoo. This is the story of my Tattoo- A phoenix on my right arm.
I was always a good student, a darling of teachers and parents. My path was well laid out, SRCC and then MBA from IIM. Expectations kept rising and I toiled hard to keep up with them. Even if I scored 70 % it was not good enough-" Not from you J, you are loosing focus, this is not good enough". The pressure started getting on my nerves, I could not sleep at nights. Before the exams I started going blank, while writing exams my hands used to get so sweaty that I could hardly hold the pen. I just could not handle the pressure and screwed up my 12th exams, got 70 percent.
I said to myself "It's just one exam, I still have whole life ahead of me and I’ am going to make best use of it". I did well in my first year of graduation and started preparing simultaneously for MBA. Life was good again and I was back on track. But well, life had other plans for me. Just before my second year exam I got severe jaundice. I was determined not let this effect me, I use to wake up at night to study so that nobody came to know that I was exerting myself. All this exertion deteriorated my condition even further and well, I could not give my second year exams.
I was still determined not to give up.We humans have this spirit to survive which shouts and screams inside-"I will not give up". I gave my 2nd year exams next year and did extremely well. The MBA prep was going great. I said to myself-" The worse is behind me and now there is only one way and that’s up". I was all set for my final year exams and MBA entrance, nothing could go wrong now. But I guess I spoke a little too soon. I met with a fatal accident, a life threatening one.
I survived the accident, but I was completely broken from within. I just could fight anymore. I told my dad in the hospital-" Dad, I can’t fight life anymore, I am destined to fail". My Dad looked in my eyes and replied- " J, when you were fighting for your life, the doc told me that your chance to survive depend on your will to live more than anything else. And I told him, then he will live doc, he bloody well will live!".” Son, you are alive now so why do you want to stop living".
Those five minutes changed my life. I was ready for the new challenge. I told life-" You give me your best shot and I will give you mine, lets see who wins". I finished my grad and dropped the plan for MBA, at least for the time being since I had already lost 2 years. Plus I had few things to prove to myself before I did MBA. I took up a job and started from scratch. I started working my ass off and moved up the ladder. I took up projects which were messy and others were too cautious to touch them. I had no fear anymore, I had started my life from scratch time and again and if need be I could do it again. The risks paid off and I was on! I had risen from my ashes.
That’s what my Tattoo is all about. It’s got Phoenix in the middle and rays all around, the rays depict the God and it means with gods grace anybody can rise from their ashes.
That's my story, what’s yours?